New Year’s Resolutions 2
On the first day of 2020, I was sitting in my sunroom, talking on the phone with my sister, when I looked out the window and saw a red fox walking across my patio. He was a bold, little creature. He jumped up onto the stone wall, sat down, and just looked at me, his eyes shining bright with intelligence. We held each other’s gaze for several moments. He never showed the slightest inclination to run, he merely cocked his head when he heard me exclaim to my sister that a fox had just come calling. He just kept staring at me as if he wanted me to consider something. My sister also thought I should consider that a fox coming to visit on the first day of new year had to be some kind of omen.
As soon as I hung up, I decided to see what kind of omen had settled on my doorstep on this new year’s day. One thing I read said that Native Americans believe the fox is considered the single best guide to lead someone down a destined path. Foxes reveal themselves during times of great and unpredictable change, and they implore you to remain flexible with whatever comes next. Many sites commented on the fox’s stealthy nature. The fox has a reputation for being a trickster, but its stealth also serves the fox by helping it to optimize it’s survival and safety.
Reading all this I began to ponder if the message fox brought had something to do with our big move to the East Coast. Lately, I had been having thoughts that bringing the family closer together had been a necessary first step, but that the path ahead was still not settled. The challenges required to reunite the family were not just physical, but emotional as well. Perhaps the fox was encouraging me to be more clever and adaptable in finding a place of greater comfort and balance for all of us.
The fox’s appearance also got me thinking more about my new year’s resolutions. I had made two. The first was that after a long hiatus from writing (as I dealt with all the many aspects of this relocation) I had finally gotten back to work on Ahote’s Path. I’m really happy with the progress I have made so far. I made a resolution that 2020 should be the year the book is finished and published.
My second resolution is harder to put into words, but I will try. Often in my meditations, I will reflect upon how very small we are as humans. What we know is so very little compared to what is known by the universal mind; and the time we have to learn is also so small when compared to the span of all time. So it stands to reason that what I know about myself and my family is also only a small portion of what is knowable. This year I want to make myself look deeper, learn more. I want to try and discover a greater truth of who we are and what it is we really mean to each other. I want to accept what is true, not judge it. It’s not a simple task, but I will say that so far I have found that it has helped me to be kinder to myself and to them, to have greater empathy, and to see the early manifestations of a more loving, expansive connection.
As you look at the family pictures here from the end of 2019, you will see so many happy family moments. You have likely deduced by now that there have also been some difficult moments. I think whenever you try to build a stronger foundation, you can’t help but uncover the disruptive cracks that threaten the entire structure. But each challenge that arises always brings me back to a most basic understanding. I love this family with all my heart. I would and have done everything I know to bring greater love, happiness and healing to us all. That is the path that I hope fox will help me navigate even better in 2020. Wish me luck, and I will wish the same for all of you, a year ahead filled with truth, love, beauty, harmony, healing and happiness for each and every one of you.